Happy 2023

Every year I, like so many of us, like to stop and reflect on the past year. For us, for myself, for everyone else. Then our attentions turn to the future. Everyone sets these wacky New Year’s resolutions.

I say wacky because a lot of the time we are setting ourselves up to fail. We sit down and write down a bunch of things that are, typically, impossible to achieve in the manner that we expect to do them. “New Year New Me” right? It’s a phrase I’ve personally come to hate for several reasons.

We don’t need a new you. You are amazing and wonderful just as you are. Of course, there is always room for improvement. As long as they are baby steps and we don’t try and do everything at once. I’ve seen people throw out all their ‘snacks’ at the beginning of the year and swear they are going to ‘eat healthily’ and deny foods that they have deemed ‘bad foods’ to get ‘in shape’ only to fall off the wagon soon after. Setting values to food like good or bad continues to screw up our relationship with food, and thanks to a billion-dollar dieting industry, we are just playing into their hands and paying into their pockets. The only foods that should be deemed bad are anything you are allergic to. If eating shellfish is going to put you in a hospital then it is indeed a ‘bad’ food for you. However, that cheeseburger you had for lunch isn’t bad. The more you deny the more you want. Practicing moderation, trying to fit fruits and veggies into your diet, making lifestyle changes are what you want, not some giant crusade to eradicate everything you enjoy.

(Sorry, a bit of a tangent but I am one of those people who have a complicated relationship with food because I’ve been told I do.)

Exercise is another one. Baby steps, one thing at a time and not at the same time you’re doing something else. Work on it till it becomes a routine and once you start doing it without thinking about it, add something (small) else to your day. I want to do five push-ups every morning. Once I can do those without thinking about it then maybe I’ll try smoothies in the morning or I’ll add a walk in the afternoon.

Think of these ‘resolutions’ as walking into work, the first day of your week, your boss comes over and just dumps five MASSIVE projects on you. They HAVE to be done by a certain time but all while doing your regular work. Not only that, you have to come up with each step. Holy crap, that is a lot of work and pressure!

Working on habits that you want to add to your life for positivity is an amazing and hard task. So please treat them as such. Also, if you have to set goals because that works best for you, make them attainable and specific. For instance, say “I want to drop 20 lbs by the end of the year” instead of “I want to lose weight” or “I want to read 12 books this year” instead of “I want to read more”. Get a habit tracker, start with a smaller amount, and then when that is nothing, make it a larger amount. Step by step, you deserve these as a reward for your hard work, not a punishment or additional stress on yourself.

This year, my resolutions are simple. I want to love myself. All of myself. My head, body, emotions, all of it. That is a journey with my therapist. I want to physically feel better. That isn’t a set weight goal or exercise because I need to find out what makes me feel better. I want to spend more time taking care of myself. I want to communicate better with the people I love. I want to make sure they know how much I love them and couldn’t face another year without them.

Those goals all seem attainable to me but I will also have help. I will take small steps. I will not punish myself for having an off day. The reward is a happier me.

I’m interested, what is your small step this year?