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Category Archives: Anti Bullying

You’re Not Alone: My Tribe

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I’m sitting here listening to Danny Don’t You Know by Ninja Sex Party for the millionth time. If you haven’t heard the song, you should give it a listen. There are a few lines that always hit close to home for me but it reminded me that I was supposed to write something for Vanri. (Sorry, Vanri!)

When I was a kid, I had zero friends most of the time. There were a few people that I’d hang around but, no matter what I did, or tried, I never fit in. I never fit in to the point of relentless bullying, severe depression, suicidal thoughts, and attempts. I had a plate overflowing with shit. It was so full, so awful, so heavy that I couldn’t see the other side of it. I just imagined that this was going to be the rest of my life and who the hell wanted that.

I was into D&D, Magic: The Gathering and video games as I became a teenager, but at the time those got you bullied more. I made some friends, but nothing really changed for me. I still dreaded life nearly all the time.

Let’s fast forward because this went on into my 30s. I met Vel, we got married, and I started to figure out what I was and what I wanted to do with that. Five years ago, I kinda got mad. I liked games and I happen to be female, but I couldn’t find myself being represented anywhere. So I, metaphorically, kicked down my first door and said, “Alright, bitches, who wants to form Real Women of Gaming.”

I didn’t see us past a Facebook page, but something amazing happened. Here were people that (most knew me, some didn’t) were listening, supporting some ideas I had, investing themselves in this thing I started. This amazing group of people that were uplifting. This is My Tribe.

All of the things I was bullied for when I was young were now helping me kick down doors and expand this amazing thing. Being loud, excitable, talking about literally anything to anyone. Overweight, mental health, video games, nerd stuff. Everything that I really am helps me and these amazing people helped me find that and show the world that I’m an amazing person.

I get to spend nights laughing while playing Creativerse, Stardew Valley, Gears of War. I plan parties around board games and amazing new foods that my friends bring over. I make new friends that I’m excited to find because we both love specific games. These are things I look forward to. This is my crazy awesome wonderful life.

Now I will side note, that doesn’t mean that I don’t suffer from depression, anxiety and a host of other issues. Those are chemical imbalances in my brain that I am in therapy for, and I take daily medication. The support of my friends, of our fans, helped me get into therapy, helped me ask for medication. They helped me seek the appropriate help I needed to work on a healthier me. Life is no longer unbearable, it’s amazing and I am blessed.

The You’re Not Alone Anti-Bullying Fundraiser was on July 21st and we raised $1,075 for PACER’s Bullying Prevention Center.

How Gaming has Helped Me Cope with Bullying

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Be sure to join Real Women of Gaming for their 4th annual Anti-bullying fundraiser, You’re Not Alone on July 21st. The event takes place from 10am-9pm at Uncanny Comics and More in the King of Prussia Mall. You can also catch the event at mixer.com/realwomenofgaming and twitch.tv/realwomenofgaming.

I was bullied my whole childhood. We never had a lot of money for me to have the latest things, though my parents tried very hard. I was overweight, which seems to be some kind of cardinal sin to kids. I also grew up very religious which I feel stunted some of my social skills. Despite going to Catholic school very quickly it was considered “not cool” to be as religious as I was. I also didn’t get to join a lot of clubs because I was helping as a caregiver at a young age for my mother, my younger brother and later my grandmother. 

I had undiagnosed mental illness as well as learning disabilities. I could never seem to say the right thing. I was “stupid.” I was always “ugly.” I was the kid who got asked to play only to be made fun of or physically hurt. No one wanted to come to my parties except to make me feel bad which was really lame considering how hard my parents worked to have these birthday parties. I would be invited to birthday parties but it was well known that it was just because parents forced kids to do so. I was also bullied by some teachers. I hated school. I wanted to die.

I did have my family. The good thing about lots of cousins is that you have built in friends and we all loved playing games. My younger cousin Kelly was my only real friend till high school. We are still very close. I also was very close to my mom. She played a lot of games with all of us kids. The awesome nerd family made of friends that I met in high school helped me a lot and we have also always loved games. We still play a lot of games when we get together. 

me and kelly

Gaming has also led me to meet some of the rest of my made family. Crymson and Vanri have told the story of how we met many times. In short she was friends with one of my best friends and she had invited us all to come play games on New Years Eve. I didn’t want to go. I was, honestly pretty terrified that this would turn into some other trick. Or I would say the wrong thing, like I always did and no one would like me.

Thankfully I did go. I became friends with Crymson and Vanri quickly and I am so glad that we clicked. Crymson invited me to join Real Women of Gaming and my social circle grew. I started playing Dungeons and Dragons with Oresan running a small group as the Dungeon Master. Soon we were playing with a slightly larger group on Mondays. Then I was lucky enough to become a part of The L.O.S.T. A Dungeons and Dragons Tale.

Dungeons and Dragons has given me so much more confidence then I had when I started. It has given me a way to problem solve within a group that I didn’t always have growing up. It stretches my creativity and has made me a better world builder. It has forced me to look at why I am making my characters the way I am. It has challenged me to go beyond my comfort zone when I play my characters.  

Gaming gives me set scheduled interaction with others that, as a person who had such terrible experiences with people in the past, I value beyond worlds. It gives me challenges. It gives me a way to look at my own growth as a person and player. Gaming has given me friends who help me through difficult situations. They celebrate my vistories with me.

Gaming has given me some of my only fond memories of my childhood. It has given me more confidence. Gaming has given me friends and a way to connect with others. Gaming has helped me become the strong woman that I am. I am very grateful for the opportunities that I have been given by gaming to help me realize that I am so much more than what bullies tried to make me believe. I am worthwhile. I am funny. I am not stupid or worthless.

Gaming has helped me in so many ways to cope with the bullying that I experienced.

us

Always keep sparking!

Anti Bullying with Frags and Beer

VivianJames

Vivian James

With convention season in full swing, and our own visit to C2E2 coming up in a few weeks, I want to talk a little bit about bullying and harassment at conventions.  These events attract a lot of people.  In 2014, C2E2 alone boasted about 63,000 attendees.  It’s only natural that a few bad eggs will show up in a batch that large.  Just this year at MagFest, a cosplayer was harassed for dressing as Vivian James, a sort of mascot for The Fine Young Capitalists as well as the online consumer revolt against corrupt gaming journalists.  This is just the most recent case of problems at conventions around the world.  Taking this in perspective, conventions receive a great deal of scrutiny because they are supposed to be a place where people gather to share interests, fun, hobbies, and build a network.  In reality, it is like a small city descending on an area, sometimes no bigger than a city block, policed by staff who really aren’t police.  I’ve been going to conventions for years now, and despite the size, scope, and all the horror stories, they tend to be relatively safe, but that doesn’t mean we should take the atmosphere of a convention for granted.
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Real Women of Gaming’s “You’re Not Alone” Anti-Bullying VIDEO

Check out our video “You’re Not Alone,” the culmination of a year-long project that Real Women of Gaming started in order to raise awareness of bullying. Give it a look, and try not to cry.

You’re Not Alone Event, Live on Twitch!

Join us live on Twitch as we present our all-day anti-bullying event, You’re Not Alone, at Uncanny Comics in King of Prussia!

Click here!

+2 Comedy Podcast

plus2logoRinshi and I had the honor of being on the +2 Comedy Podcast *clears throat* severalweeksagoI’msosorry *clears throat* and had an amazing time with Noah and Will. Aside from the fact that we were both extremely nervous and awkward, good times were had by all. But that’s kind of our modus operandi so, really, it was like home. I sucked at the chosen IMDB game (I tried REALLY REALLY HARD), and a fan walked away with a pasta boat, 3 versions of love letter, a deck of steampunk playing cards and a map from the Prototype video game. We had a blast and hope to get invited back right after Will drops those stalking charges (just kidding, charges were never filed). Plus, we are excited that we will be seeing Noah again at You’re Not Alone on July 18th.

In case you haven’t heard it click below:
Rinshi and Crymson Pleasure on +2 Comedy

+2 Comedy Facebook
+2 Comedy Twitter

Frags & Beer Interview with Crymson Pleasure

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Frags & Beer Interview with Crymson Pleasure about up coming You’re Not Alone Anti Bullying Live Event