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Top Ten Ways to Engage with your Nerdy Child

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Understanding your kids can be tough. Particularly if they have very different interests then you do. Fandoms can seem weird and perhaps even a bit scary to a person who is unfamiliar. They are also a lot of fun! For some of us these nerdy years will be the foundation of who we will become. I think my parents would have loved a list of ways to engage with me, probably still would. So here are ten ways that you can engage with your nerdy child.

1. Listen.

I know it can be difficult, particularly if you have no idea what they are talking about. However just sitting down to listen to them talk will not only keep your child’s trust but will also give them a confidence boost. It makes them feel important. It will also give good memories associated with both you and the interests that they are cultivating. Who knows you might end up loving it too.

2. Check out your local Library.

Yes I know that I have a bias for this as I have run many events for children in different fandoms and activities. So take this one from personal experience that these events can be really great. They are usually free. They give your child a safe space to interact with others about what they love. So please go check out your local Library and see what they have going on.  Also the staff who are running the event are having just as much fun as the kids. As proof here is a picture of myself and Iris the Keyblade Master at an event we were working.

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ThiaTheBard and IrisTheKeybladeMaster

3. The internet can be your friend.

You can and should research what your child is into. Not only will it help you talk to them about it but it gives you resources that you can look into on your own time.

4. Go to your local shops, comic or gaming.

There is a lot of good that can come from this suggestion. These shops are one more space for you and your child to experience what they love. The employees can also help you to learn more about what your child is into. How you can support them and can also help support you. Also, you being a patron of these places helps them to stay open and provide these services for others. It is a great, grand nerdy circle of life!

5. Get together with other parents to learn from each other and support each other.

As mentioned above you also need support. You can all learn from each other. Vent to each other. Just try to figure out what is happening together. Being confused in a group is always better than being confused alone.

6. Encourage your child.

Particularly if they are doing art, cosplay or writing. It can be difficult when just starting out. You are a person they can look to for guidance and a little boost.

7. Help them with goals related to their interests.

Anything from cosplay, making models or word count. It can be really tough for children to break up their path to success. Sometimes they may need a hand in figuring out how to best navigate the steps to their goals. What may seem insurmountable to them but something you can break down to make it a little more manageable.

8. Help them get to safe spaces they can make friends who actually share their interests.

Sometimes just giving them a ride can be a huge help.

9. Try their interests.

Ask them to help teach you to draw, sew, design, game, watch the movie or read the book. Not only will this help you learn it shows them that you care. Also, you may really like it.

10. Remember something you loved.

Remember what you needed and try to give it to them. Talk to your child about it. Let them know you have cool interests too.

I hope that this might have helped a little. Mostly just remember to show love. Love will always be the best way to have your child’s back and give them a little advantage in this world. If you have any other tips leave them in a comments below! 

ALWAYS KEEP SPARKLING!

Zenkaikon 2019: Cosplay Burlesque

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For the second year in a row, I’ve had the absolute pleasure to attend Cosplay Burlesque’s show at Zenkaikon in Lancaster, PA. I had first heard about Cosplay Burlesque three years ago, after Crymson went to their show and interviewed them at Zenkaikon 2017. I was excited to hear they were coming back so that I could finally see what all the fuss was about.

Last year, Thia the Bard wrote about her experience at their show, being asexual. I want to give a little background on myself before moving forward with my review. I am demisexual. This means that I don’t feel sexual attraction to a person unless I’ve established an emotional connection with them first.

That being said, I absolutely love burlesque. To me, it’s not so much sexual, but rather an art form. It’s an art that promotes and celebrates body positivity, confidence and sexuality. It’s an art that allows the dancer to utilize their creativity and express themselves using physical methods.

Cosplay Burlesque specifically uses pop culture and turns it into something even more exciting. We see characters from shows and movies we know and love.. then we see them dance and take their clothes off.

This year, we were excited by characters from My Hero AcademiaMario, X-MenGame of Thrones, and… The Human Centipede? Yes, Oliver Swisskey did a The Human Centipede act. It’s awesome, though, I promise!

The dancers were all amazing, as usual. The show came together extremely well. Clothes were flying everywhere, laughter and cat calls filled the air, and there was so much T&A that I didn’t know whether I should look away and blush or lean into it and cheer (spoiler alert, it’s the latter).

The MC was witty and really knew how to keep the momentum of the show going. The most memorable acts, for me, were the following (in no particular order): Oberyn Martell from Game of Thrones, The Juggernaut from X-Men, Lady Bowser from Mario, Mrs White from Clue, and the doctor from The Human Centipede. Each act brought something new to the stage that could be exciting or concerning, depending on the context.

Though, I must say, the picture of Oberyn Martell’s dead body directly after the act was unnecessary. (I know, Oliver, it’s a palette cleanser, but still!)

What makes this company so intriguing to me is that you have people of all genders, orientations, shapes and sizes exuding so much confidence that I start to feel as though I could do anything. As an overweight woman, my self-esteem is often down in the dumps. I have insecurities out the wazoo. If faced with the option to burlesque, I would run home and put more clothes on. But after a Cosplay Burlesque show, where I see a woman who is my size flaunting her sexiness to a room full of con-goers, my confidence in myself is soaring. I’m inspired. I feel good about myself because she feels good about herself.

Burlesque is so much more than dancers taking their clothes off. It’s a form of expression that can not only make the dancer feel amazing, but also inspire people in the audience. It’s an art that screams out, “You are sexy!” to a room full of people who may have come in believing that they’re not good enough.

Cosplay Burlesque has introduced me to the world of burlesque and I would love to see more. If you have any suggestions for burlesque companies to look out for, please leave them in the comments below!

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Zenkaikon 2018: An Asexual Walks into a Burlesque Show…

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As a person who identifies as asexual, I had never really put a lot of thought into ever going to a burlesque act. I knew that burlesque is an art form, but I was still a bit uncomfortable with the sexual aspects of it, particularly the people who might be sitting around me.

Growing up ace and not knowing what I was, I have always felt like I was…off. Like everyone else understood something that I did not. Almost like when people are telling a joke that you just don’t get but every other person around you thinks it’s hysterical. That joke just keeps being told around you, over and over again, so you just start laughing, too, even though you don’t find it funny.

That’s how I’ve felt about anything sexual. Everyone else was in on this amazing joke that I just couldn’t find interesting, let alone funny, no matter how hard I tried. And I have tried. I’ve had relationships in the past and have tried to be like everyone else. One of those ended very badly for me.

I have tried to talk like everyone else, joining my friends in conversations while pretending that I felt what they felt. I remember having conversations with my mom about my relationships and her asking me why I wasn’t being more sexual so long as I was “safe” about it. I didn’t know how to tell her, or others, that I really didn’t want to.

I didn’t hear the term “asexual” in reference to a person until I was in my late twenties. I saw it. I researched it. I had my “AHA!” moment. I then felt such relief. While I do not believe that a person needs to label themselves, it was wonderful to find out there were more people like me; people who had never gotten the joke either.

So, when we were trying to decide panels and my friends were most assuredly going to Cosplay Burlesque, I was torn. I have sexualization thrown at me everywhere. The television I watch, the ads, the music I listen to, the way other people react to what I wear. I didn’t want to go to yet another thing where I failed to understand why everyone else was having fun.

Thankfully, we went to the Cosplay Burlesque booth prior to the panel. Crymson, who had interviewed the cast last year,  introduced Vanri and myself to them. Oliver Swisskey walked over to give hugs and talk to us. The moment he found out about my sexuality and that I was thinking of perhaps going to a different panel, he began to talk to me. Oliver assured me that it was totally cool with him if I went to a different panel and then also told me about his act, what his music was, and the story he was going to tell.

 me dddI started to get excited. I had never thought about focusing on the technical aspects of the show: how they made their costumes; the music they choose and how it would further the story within the act. So, I made the decision to go with my friends that night.

I am so glad that I did. It was honestly beautiful. There was so much thought put into every aspect of each performance. The lighting was always different. The costumes were amazing. It also helped that everything was, well, nerdy. That made me feel very included when a performance was one of my fandoms.

There was a lot of humor in every act. I sat there, happily clapping and dissecting the sheer amount of work that went into everything. They also have a diverse cast full of body positivism!

I am so glad that my first burlesque show was Cosplay Burlesque. The cast is so hard working and friendly. I was also lucky enough to be there for our interview with them. They are truly some awesome nerds. They were very warm and funny during and after the interview. Oliver was also so nice to me every time he saw me at con after talking to him that first night.

In short, this asexual walked into a burlesque show… and walked out a fan. I went to the right show, with the right cast, at the right place, with the right friends. I went out of my comfort zone and gained a new appreciation for an art form.  

If you have the opportunity to see Cosplay Burlesque go see them! You will have a wonderful time.

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Always keep sparkling!

 

Zenkaikon 2018: Overcoming Con Anxiety Panel

IMG_2836The lovely Aniyah Lyszt and Levy Cross of Pleasant Nightmare Entertainment gave a wonderfully insightful panel on overcoming con anxiety. It’s no secret that I have a decent amount of anxiety. This anxiety is a big factor in why I became a part of the gaming/nerd communities. I rarely have to go outside or be around people to enjoy my hobby. Fewer people equals less anxiety. Perfect.

While Zenkaikon is not the biggest con I’ve been to, it still produces a crowd bigger than my anxiety can handle. When I saw that there was going to be a panel called Overcoming Con Anxiety on the very first day, I jumped at it.

Aniyah and Levy had a wealth of knowledge on the subject. They turned the panel into a discussion, which helped those anxiety-ridden panel audience members to participate. They were funny and had relevant stories that made me laugh. And to speak to their experience, they carried on despite the extremely loud Steven Universe sing-a-long next door.

A highlight was definitely Aniyah Lyszt asking the staff member if they were sacrificing a baby next door and to see if they could wait until she got over there so she could join the party.

Reminds me of someone…

ANYWAY!

The panel was full of tips and tricks to help yourself handle a lot of the anxiety that comes along with conventions. The majority of their advice was to basically stay on top of the things you can control, which will make the things you can’t control far less overwhelming. Some of their advice included:

  • Give yourself plenty of time, don’t rush!
  • Don’t set high expectations – be realistic!
  • Stop thinking of the worst case scenario.
  • Research the con prior to going (ie. size, location, reviews, etc.)
  • DO NOT PROCRASTINATE!

 

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The panel helped me to get through the rest of the con simply because I felt more prepared for it. Yes, the constant droves of people still produced a bit of anxiety, but I took a few minutes to sit down and plan out my con. I circled the panels I wanted to go to, figured out which times I would be in the Exhibit Hall and which times I would be meeting up with Crymson and/or Thia. We planned when we would give ourselves meal breaks and figured out where we wanted to go. We were more prepared than usual, which did wonders for my anxiety levels.

If you ever have the chance to go to one of Aniyah Lyszt’s panels, do it! With boob jokes, cursing and sex talk mixed in with some serious advice, I promise you won’t regret it.

You can check out Pleasant Nightmare Entertainment here.

Top 10 Things that happened to me at Zenkaikon 2017

Crymson went to Zenkaikon 2017! Here are some of the things she experienced:

 

 

10) Some utterly amazing cosplays where everywhere!

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9) I was sandwiched between two doctors in my T.A.R.D.I.S dress

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I found Wednesday Adams

8) So many people told me they love my hair!

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Waiting for Cosplay Masquerade

7) I made new friends!

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Our friends at CommonGeek.tv

7) I want hours to talk to Keith DeCandido

5) The Slants concert was AMAZING

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The Slants

4) I got a ‘NOTICE ME SENPAI!’ from a stranger

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Senpai Loves You

3) MY FIRST BURLESQUE SHOW! Not only did I see my first show

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Pre Show (Photography was not allowed)

2) I got to spend some time with Uncle Yo! Much more than an interview, I was able to see him several times, chat with him and give him a few hugs. He made me laugh, he made me cry.

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Crazy Uncle Yo

1) Ellen McClain and John Patrick Lowery Believe in me! Meeting them was definitely the highlight of the convention for me. They are two incredible people that I’d love to sit with for hours and listen to their stories. I cannot say enough positive things and hope to speak with them again.

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John Patrick Lowery & Ellen McClain are too precious for this world

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Noodle King

 

 

 

(Honorable Mention: ALL THE FOOD!)
If you live in the Lancaster Area, please eat at The Rabbit and The Dragonfly & Noodle King

Top 10 (Nerdy) Ways to Spend Your Tax Refund

So here we are, deep into February with March right around the corner.  It’s the beginning of tax season and with all that’s fit to buy, I’m going to offer up my top ten choices to spend a tax refund on:

10. Steam Wallet

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First off, Steam is addicting. With a sale for every season and weekly deals the year round, I suggest you dump part (or all) of you refund into your steam wallet. When the Spring sale starts, you won’t be able to cry you don’t have money in your bank account; it’ll be right there on Steam waiting for you to spend.

9. Kickstarter

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Following a close second to the constant games on sale are games yet to come out. Feeling nostalgic for a game you used to play? There’s likely a reboot, or an anniversary edition being crowdfunded on Kickstarter. I’ve got my 20th Anniversary Whiskey Box Edition of Deadlands coming and I can’t wait. New ideas abound there as well. There might be an awesome game you don’t know you’ll love just waiting for you to back it.

8. VR Equipment

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Virtual reality is hot, even Pornhub is into it (so I’m told). The high end phones, and even the PlayStation all have VR tech waiting to gobble up your cash.  There are inexpensive models you can purchase for your phone if you’re not ready for a setup the same price as a full console.

Read the rest of this entry

Another Cosply Competition Show Coming to Syfy

Cosplay Melee - Season 1

Cosplay Melee, a new show hosted by Yvette Nicole Brown, is coming to Syfy on March 21st.  I looks to be similar to shows like Face Off, pitting contestants against each other in a competition to create their own designs.  In each episode four top cosplayers will compete to create full costumes as well as original characters.  Other judges include special effects artist Christian Beckman and cosplayer LeeAnna Vamp.  If it follows the format of similar shows we may also see guest judges from similar fields.

This looks to be Syfy’s second venture into the cosplay world, though other shows have touched on its aspects, like Fangasm and Naked Vegas.  The network’s previous attempt, Heroes of Cosplay, had a bumpy two seasons.  The show was criticized for negative portrayal of the community, cosplayers, and even causing problems with contestants who weren’t part of the show when they changed the format of a competition.  While I personally enjoyed the show, I did see some of the issues that others saw in the show, and I’m inclined to believe that’s why it didn’t come back.

Other than Steampunk’d, which isn’t exclusively about cosplay, there isn’t really anything else on TV right now featuring this art form.  What began as just a hobby for super fans to express their love of pop culture, and their skill as crafters, has become a worldwide business.  Some cosplayers not only compete for a living, but model, sell branded cosplay props and costumes, and appear as featured guests at conventions.  With the immense popularity of other similar fandoms, it is surprising that we still have so little abut this on television.

What I hope we don’t see?  The catty, snarky, and backstabbing nature of most of these shows.  It’s a staple of reality competitions, whether it be makeup, tattoo, or cooking, there always seems to be a lot of back room bickering.  It’s hard to tell if it’s manufactured, or just the result of putting a group of dis-likable people in a room together and making them compete.  It’s bound to happen; not everyone gets along, I just hope it doesn’t become part of every promo and ‘next week on’ clip.

I also want to see amateur contestants.  As much as I like seeing the work of Nigri, Han and Doomkitty, I’d love to see the show feature less-known artists, and those just starting out.  Beginning cosplayers look at the work of the big names, and can be intimidated by the level of craftsmanship.  It’s especially disheartening when the work is portrayed in a lightning fast montage between commercial breaks when that kind of work can take a beginner days or weeks.  It’s like being a new writer (like me) and seeing how fast James Patterson can crank out a best seller.

I can’t deny that I’m excited for this show, but I’ll go into it with a bit of hopeful skepticism.  I haven’t been able to get into other programs like it, except for background noise while I’m doing something else.  I want to see a good cosplay competition.  I just don’t want to see a re-skin of Inked or Face Off.  What do you think?