As a person who identifies as asexual, I had never really put a lot of thought into ever going to a burlesque act. I knew that burlesque is an art form, but I was still a bit uncomfortable with the sexual aspects of it, particularly the people who might be sitting around me.
Growing up ace and not knowing what I was, I have always felt like I was…off. Like everyone else understood something that I did not. Almost like when people are telling a joke that you just don’t get but every other person around you thinks it’s hysterical. That joke just keeps being told around you, over and over again, so you just start laughing, too, even though you don’t find it funny.
That’s how I’ve felt about anything sexual. Everyone else was in on this amazing joke that I just couldn’t find interesting, let alone funny, no matter how hard I tried. And I have tried. I’ve had relationships in the past and have tried to be like everyone else. One of those ended very badly for me.
I have tried to talk like everyone else, joining my friends in conversations while pretending that I felt what they felt. I remember having conversations with my mom about my relationships and her asking me why I wasn’t being more sexual so long as I was “safe” about it. I didn’t know how to tell her, or others, that I really didn’t want to.
I didn’t hear the term “asexual” in reference to a person until I was in my late twenties. I saw it. I researched it. I had my “AHA!” moment. I then felt such relief. While I do not believe that a person needs to label themselves, it was wonderful to find out there were more people like me; people who had never gotten the joke either.
So, when we were trying to decide panels and my friends were most assuredly going to Cosplay Burlesque, I was torn. I have sexualization thrown at me everywhere. The television I watch, the ads, the music I listen to, the way other people react to what I wear. I didn’t want to go to yet another thing where I failed to understand why everyone else was having fun.
Thankfully, we went to the Cosplay Burlesque booth prior to the panel. Crymson, who had interviewed the cast last year, introduced Vanri and myself to them. Oliver Swisskey walked over to give hugs and talk to us. The moment he found out about my sexuality and that I was thinking of perhaps going to a different panel, he began to talk to me. Oliver assured me that it was totally cool with him if I went to a different panel and then also told me about his act, what his music was, and the story he was going to tell.
I started to get excited. I had never thought about focusing on the technical aspects of the show: how they made their costumes; the music they choose and how it would further the story within the act. So, I made the decision to go with my friends that night.
I am so glad that I did. It was honestly beautiful. There was so much thought put into every aspect of each performance. The lighting was always different. The costumes were amazing. It also helped that everything was, well, nerdy. That made me feel very included when a performance was one of my fandoms.
There was a lot of humor in every act. I sat there, happily clapping and dissecting the sheer amount of work that went into everything. They also have a diverse cast full of body positivism!
I am so glad that my first burlesque show was Cosplay Burlesque. The cast is so hard working and friendly. I was also lucky enough to be there for our interview with them. They are truly some awesome nerds. They were very warm and funny during and after the interview. Oliver was also so nice to me every time he saw me at con after talking to him that first night.
In short, this asexual walked into a burlesque show… and walked out a fan. I went to the right show, with the right cast, at the right place, with the right friends. I went out of my comfort zone and gained a new appreciation for an art form.
If you have the opportunity to see Cosplay Burlesque go see them! You will have a wonderful time.
Always keep sparkling!