RSS Feed

Tag Archives: horror movies

Thia the Bard’s Top Ten Favorite Final Girls

It is no secret that I love horror movies. One of my favorite things in a horror movie is a “Final Girl.” A Final Girl is a term coined to refer to the trope of the last female character who is left alive to confront the killer and tell the story. Final Girls come from all walks of life but they all live through torment and torture. As the genre of horror grows and evolves, so does the role of a Final Girl. This is by no means a list of all Final Girls, but it is a rounded list. Some of comedic elements while some are straight up slasher survivors. 

Oh, and obviously there are spoilers below. So proceed with caution. You got your popcorn and your candy handy? You think you’re ready? Okay, then put on shoes you can run in, stay away from the stairs and let’s see who survives.

texas chainsaw 

Sally Hardesty The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. We have to start with this lady as she is arguably the first Final Girl. When Sally, her brother and some friends go to visit their grandfather’s grave the road trip takes a turn. The group ends up with a crazy family of cannibals. After seeing everyone else die and living through torture Sally stumbles her way out of danger. The end of the movie is her unhinged laughing, covered in blood in the back of the getaway truck. While Sally is not very proactive on her own she does live and becomes therefore is the momma of the Final Girls.

final girls 

Max Cartwright The Final Girls. Okay so I know this is the first unconventional entry to the list. The Final Girls is a parody and a love letter to the camp slasher genre. Max’s mother starred in a slasher hit and after her untimely death that movie is one of the only ways Max can see her. Unfortunately she and her friends get sucked into the movie. Max faces her fears of watching those around her die and becomes the hero they need to get out of the movie. Or do they?

hellraiser 

Kirsty Cotton Hellraiser; Hellbound: Hellraiser II; Hellraiser: Hellseeker. Kirsty just, well she really goes through it in these movies. After her uncle dies Kirsty and her parents move into the family home. After an accident were blood is shed her uncle is resurrected. She finds her uncle’s puzzle box which leads to the unleashing of the cenobites. The cenobites wants to bring souls back to their sadomasochistic world. Kirsty escapes this dark thriller and comes out even stronger in the sequel where she uses her connection to the cenobites to help her out of a terrifying mental hospital. Kirsty uses the tools at hand to survive and be the Final Girl of this twisted franchise.

jennifer's body 

Needy Jennifer’s Body. Needy seems like she is all of us for so much of the movie. She is the voice of reason throughout so much of this cult classic.When Needy and her best friend go to see an indie band play at a local bar everything changes. Boys start being attacked and Needy finds out it is a demon that has taken over her friend in a ritual gone wrong. Now Needy and Jennifer square off in an attempt to stop the killings. Needy then takes it a step farther to get revenge on the band who ruined her life in the first place. Needy goes from a shy and mousy girl to an actual badass whose chart says that she is a K-I-C-K-E-R.

trick r treat 

Rhonda Trick R Treat. Trick R Treat is an anthology of stories that happen on Halloween night. Rhonda isn’t like most of the kids in her town. They take it upon themselves to play a Halloween prank on her that goes wrong. However Rhonda survives. She uses her knowledge and respect for the traditions of the night to make it home alive when the others do not. Rhonda is a Final Girl who proves that being different can be the key to your survival.

evil dead 

Mia Allen Evil Dead. Mia is the hero of this remake, not to be confused with the groovy original. Mia is trying to get clean so she, her brother and their friends go to a remote cabin in the woods. After reading from an ancient book aloud terrible things start to happen. Mia gets possessed and the dead rise with the intent to drag souls to hell. While Mia does spend a good chunk of the movie possessed she does become a Final Girl when she takes matters, and a chainsaw, into her own hands. Mia is a great example that anyone can take control of their situation and become their own hero.

scream 

Sidney Prescott Scream; Scream 2; Scream 3; Scream 4. The scream queen of meta herself. This list would not be complete without Sidney, partially because she is amazing and partially because these are some of my favorite horror movies. The Scream series came out just when I started being allowed to watch horror movies and they helped to cement my love of them. Sidney is still recovering from the murder of her mother when suddenly her classmates begin to be killed in the first movie. With all of her friends as both potential victims and suspects how is Sid supposed to survive? Her quick thinking and will to survive help her make it through all of the movies in this franchise as we get to see Sid grow stronger in each film. So remember the rules, then throw out the rules and learn the new rules of how to survive a horror movie!

a nighmare on elm street 

Nancy Thompson A Nightmare on Elm Street; A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Nancy helped create a whole new franchise in the horror genre. When Freddy Krueger is killed by a vigilante mob of parents they think their children will be safe. That is until he starts to kill a group of teens in their sleep. Nancy fights sleep and for answers to help her stop Freddy. In the end she is able to use her own dream world against Freddy as she finds her own power within it. She then works to help new teens who are fighting Freddy.

friday the 13th 

Alice Friday the 13th.  Alice really sets the mold for a Final Girl for a long time. She is a kind and mousy girl who ends up being the survivor. Alice comes to Camp Crystal Lake for what is supposed to be it’s grand reopening to be a counselor. She and the rest of the staff ignore the warnings of the “harbinger” character, in this case an old man who tells them that they will all die at the camp. Alice then cheerfully gets to work, and a little play, to set up camp for the incoming campers. However the campers never get to come as staff get murdered one by one. Alice discovers the bodies, the backstory of Jason and fights for her own survival. Horror fans owe her a lot for helping give us so many of the rules to survive a horror movie and for helping put camp based slasher flicks on the map, also her scene in the boat scared my horror fanatic mother beyond belief.

halloween

Laurie Strode Halloween; Halloween II; H20: 20 Years Later; Halloween 2018. We started this list with a woman who helped start the genre and now we will end with a woman who has kept the genre going. Laurie is the first Final Girl that most horror fans will think of, and rightfully so. Her battles with the boogeyman Micheal Myers have been going on since the 1970s. Laurie is also the Final Girl we have gotten to see evolve the most. She survived the first movie and saved the children in her care due to her quick thinking, we saw her struggle with alcoholism and guilt throughout many of the other movies. Then we got to see her have a whole new story in the 2018 movie where the entire story line was erased from movie one on and changed to give us a gritty veteran obsessed with survival. Laurie has endured decades of horror and now stands tall as the epitome of a female in the horror genre, as well as paving the way for many heroines after her.

Well gang, we did it. Ten ladies who have made the horror genre. They have scared us, made us laugh and feel through the years. They have given their actual blood, sweat and tears to entertain fans. So now we salute them. It is time for this article to come to an end as I have eaten enough popcorn and candy to be feeling very sick. So take care of yourselves gentle readers and go watch some movies, you might learn something. 

Oh and I didn’t include some of my favorites from foreign films in this list because, well, we already covered them here.

ALWAYS KEEP SPARKLING!

Top 10 Horror Movies You (Probably) Haven’t Seen!

Halloween is near and with it comes the itch. The Horror movie draw. It’s a sickness really… It’s time to grab a big bowl of popcorn, a comfy blanket, and watch people be mercilessly murdered… or psychologically assaulted… (See, it is a sickness) Horror movies take on many forms, from the slasher flick to the psycho thriller. Many movies that are, in fact, Horror movies are not even billed as such, and even then there is such a saturation of absolutely hopeless movies that claim to be Horror. The following is a list of potential stories you may not have seen (or heard of) that can scratch that Serial Killer, Ghost Haunting, and blood-curdling-scream itch. Enjoy!

(But First! A note on this process and what to expect: Please take the time to do some research before watching any of these movies. Horror movies are not afraid to challenge your fears and paranoia. They often include intensely horrific scenes which may include rape, dismemberment, and anything you could possibly imagine that is, or was, horrific. Keep that in mind when choosing a movie to watch.

Each movie listed are movies that I have seen and can personally vouch for. This list is my own. If there is a movie you think should be included or a personal favorite please leave a comment below and tell us about. I look forward to adding a few titles to my watch list.)

download

10. Hard Candy (2005, R)

Psychopath vs. Pedophile. Ellen Page plays Hayley, an underage woman who meets a man whom she suspects is a Pedophile and… Well. You should see this movie. It’s disturbing on many levels, well acted, and tends to strike the right nerve at the right moment making you more and more uncomfortable as the movie progresses. 

Troll Hunter

9. Troll Hunter (2011, PG-13)

A “Found Footage Mockumentary” about college students finding Trolls in the Norwegian Wilderness. It’s also a great way to get a crash course in Norwegian folk-lore as the movie pays homage to those roots. It’s often funny, but still manages to be vicious and scary as hell.

MV5BMzQ0MzE4OTUzMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwODAyNzI3NjE@._V1_UX182_CR0,0,182,268_AL_

8. Bone Tomahawk (2015, R)

Western… Horror… Kurt Russell’s facial hair… All reasons to watch this movie, but not the only ones. It’s sad just how poorly this movie did on it’s release. Undeserving, even. A Fantastic movie that fills a need I didn’t know I had. It’ll make you squirm and writhe in your seat as there are MANY intense scenes of graphic horror.

MV5BOTk2OTFlYmQtYzVkNy00ZjM5LThkOGMtOTg0Y2JmZGYwOWY0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTQxNzMzNDI@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,666,1000_AL_

7. Monster Squad (1987, PG-13)

Not enough people have seen this Goonies-esque monster flick, in which a group of young boys strive to fight off a ravaging band of A-list monsters an answer an age old question: Does the Wolf-man indeed have nards? Easily quotable and lot fun.

MV5BYjNkMWVkYTUtYzUwZi00ZWI1LTg3MzktZjVkNDQxZjFhOTY1XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTQxNzMzNDI@._V1_UX182_CR0,0,182,268_AL_

6. In the Mouth of Madness (1994, R)

The best Lovecraftian movie ever made… Even though it’s not billed as such. Strong elements of Insanity, excellent acting, and its Lovecraftian roots make this worth a look.

Midnight Meat Train

5. The Midnight Meat Train (2008, R)

This 2008 horror flick, based on a story by Clive Barker, is less than perfect (wait until you hit the third act…); however, it’s well acted (Bradley Cooper, Vinnie Jones, ) and strikes a cord with viewers looking for that Psycho Thriller itch. I always thought Vinnie Jones seemed like he’d murder people on a Subway; though, I didn’t imagine it quite like this. This movie is graphic and horrific in unimaginable ways.

Under The Skin

4. Under The Skin (2013, R)

Though not a traditional horror movie (Listed as SciFi), Under The Skin provides a deeply disturbing and sensual experience. Scarlett Johansson plays an otherworldly being who’s constant lack of empathy is easily the most skin crawling element of an uncomfortable movie.

510M8PE3CCL._SY445_

3. Bubba HoTep (2003, R)

Bruce Campbell plays Old Elvis. Ossie Davis plays Old JFK. They fight a hillbilly Mummy sucking the souls out of old peoples anus’s. I shouldn’t have to say anything else.

MV5BMjE1OTY2MTM5MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzQ5Mjc5MQ@@._V1_UX182_CR0,0,182,268_AL_

2. Let The Right One In (2008, R)

What’s Horror without a little Romance? Between two 12 year old children… Wait a second, don’t leave! This movie follows the relationship between a bullied 12 year old boy and the vampire girl he befriends. It’s sweet, horrific, and heart wrenching… And Swedish. Hopefully you don’t mind subtitles.

MV5BMjE5MDE3MTQxOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDY0NzA0MQ@@._V1_UY268_CR0,0,182,268_AL_

1. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006, R)

If you thought “What We Do In The Shadows” needed more gore then Behind The Mask may be the movie for you. This Horror Comedy follows the life of a would be Slasher who’s hired a film crew to chronicle his escapades. It’s funny, smart, and underappreciated. I have a few “comedies” on this list, but this one really stands out, separating itself from the others with just how smart it is, putting the likes of Scream to shame and taking my number one slot. 

Hey all hope you enjoy these movies! I know I did, sort of… Leave a comment below letting us know what underappreciated or relatively unknown horror movie is your favorite!