Real Women of Gaming

I’m sure that most of you have heard of the game Palia, by Singularity Six. The free MMO with no PVE, no PVP and super cozy? It’s still in Beta and FREE to play. If you have, or haven’t, I’d love to tell you about it… and I’m going to tell you the best part.

Palia was put into open beta in 2023 and quickly became a favorite of mine. If you’ve seen any of my streams, then you know that my range goes from the cozy to horror and everything in between. I can’t explain what it is about a game that catches my attention, but this one has me.

If you don’t know what it is, I will tell you a bit. You are a human who is reborn into a world that was once ruled by humans. You come out and encounter some new friends and your new home Kilima Village. Here you can learn to be a builder, forger, fisher, bug catcher, cook, gardener, miner, and hunter. You can get your own property and build, design and create to your hearts content.

Another lovely point to the game is the fact that you can date everyone. You can romance several of the characters and no one gets jealous. You can romance one of them or all of them. Not Sifuu tho, and I understand why but it’s a shame. There are many games I’ve played where I want to romance more than one person but you can only romance the one, maybe two at a time. I am sure that it is used to encourage people to play again, which I understand. Yes, in some games the romance has to do with the plot, I understand that as well. Not everyone has the time to play games over and over again. I also have a backlog of games to play that feels insane. So this saves my time and makes me happy.

You go exploring, solving mysteries, helping the people out, and more. There were only two locations but they have just released their first location expansion, Elderwood. A beautiful and dark area that is full of purple and I love it. I can’t wait to jump back in and explore some more so I can make a spooky plot. They also have things you can buy, but they are all cosmetic. New outfits, pets to run around with you, new skins for your primary tools, landscapes for your housing plots (yes, you can have more than one) and more. Not something you have to do at all.

It’s all lovely and amazing. Wonderful things that I could talk about for hours–and don’t get me started on my house. None of those things are what I wanted to talk about, or the best part. They all add into it. The best part is the community. This is something I rarely every say. In fact, I find that some communities can be the downfall of games or why I avoid them all together.

I’m 44, a woman, and plus size. As breathtaking and extraordinary as I am, I still get a lot of shit in video games. I even stopped playing FPS (first person shooter) games all together for over a decade because I was tired of being harassed. It doesn’t matter what I play really, it happens. It doesn’t just happen in FPS games either. It happens in most games where you have contact with other people. Getting yelled at for your age, gender, sexuality, race, religion, or how you play. EVEN IF YOU ARE PLAYING WELL. I’m looking at you Marvel Rival players who refuse to stay in line of sight while I’m healing and then blame me for dying. IT’S YOUR FAULT, NOT MINE. I’m not wading into that chaos.

I took a break from streaming last summer and I miss it so much. Life hit real hard and fast. I had some medical issues, my mother has an abdominal aortic aneurysm. I can’t say it three times fast, don’t ask. We kept her living with us. My, now 10-year-old, daughter has cataracts in both of her eyes, and no one knows why. She needs surgery on both eyes. Not to mention life, school, my husband’s family. It all plied into one large panic attack.

My mom was sleeping in my bed until we got her a bed in the only empty room we had. I sat at my desk and played games that didn’t require too much attention and didn’t make me any sadder and more stressed than I already was. I walked around in Palia, decorating because I was so lost. In server chat, no one was talking, and I said… I don’t know if anyone will even see this, but this game is keeping me going during a horrible time. I feel like, I said it just so it would be in the void. I was so broken and struggling. I’d cry silently at my desk, not knowing what to do with anything. Overwhelmed and depressed. Heartbroken.

I saw one message of support. Then another, then more. Private messages. We’re happy you’re here. It’s going to be okay. Can we help you with anything in game? Can we come water your plot? I started sobbing as people who didn’t know me at all were talking to me, coming to my plot, asking to be friends and just being there. I am crying right now thinking about it. No one was snide, rude, awful or trolly. Just so many genuinely nice people who saw someone in a dark time. I must have cried for nearly an hour. All of those amazing people saved a bit of me that day.

My problems didn’t magically go away. But it did heal some of the immense hurt that I was experiencing. It restored a lot of my faith in people, and the internet. It also made me realize how special the community is. At that point I’d seen maybe one or two mean comments, but everyone was nice and understanding. Of course, this happened last year, but even the other night someone was just being such a troll, rude and even making jokes about being abused. Don’t worry, I reported them. What did the chat do? Someone asked what everyone’s favorite food was. We talked about food for a while, I even had someone waiting for me on another game, but I stayed and chatted. We talked about favorite food, health stuff, and random things. We were giving suggestions, congratulating each other, and I told them all I was so proud of them before I left. They thanked me for being nice and I did the same. It wasn’t everyone on the server, doesn’t have to be. People even joined in halfway through the conversation. It was beautiful.

That is the community I want to be a part of. Helping new players, helping anyone who needs help, just talking, and being kind. There is enough horrible in the world. There is enough hate, and awful. This is a beautiful community, a lovely pocket on the internet that I adore. If you are one of these amazing people then thank you, I am so proud of you. You are helping and you don’t even know. You make a great game so special.

I could end this with telling you to be kind, don’t be awful to people, etc. Everyone is going to do what they want and people who are terrible will be terrible. If you can, be the light. So be kind, keep cozy and play Palia.