There seems to be a lot of stigma surrounding the ever elusive creature known as the ‘gaming couple.’ I have heard a lot of negative things about gaming couples and very little positive. I also hear a lot of crap directed at one person or the other in the relationship. “Oh she only plays X because he does;” “Oh he plays Y because his girlfriend/wife made him.” I am here to clear up more than a few things about the mysteriousness around it, but one more than anything else.
Everything you’ve heard is utter bullshit.
Lets start off with a bit of background. I’ve ALWAYS been into video games; my husband has ALWAYS been into video games. We have ALWAYS been into Trading Card Games; we have ALWAYS been into board games. He doesn’t force me to play anything and I don’t force him to play anything. Out of respect for our bond, we will totally try something that the other one is into, but that doesn’t mean we are totally into it.
I can’t play any of the Ghost Recon/Call of Duty games for shit. I’ve tried on several occasions. I like them enough but I don’t like the realistic aspect of it (not to mention the fact that I REALLY suck at them). Now, give me Gears of War or Halo and I will beat a bitch’s ass whilst trash talkin’ ‘bout your Mom (a habit I am really trying to break), but I try every game he asks me to. He tries every game I ask him to, also. This doesn’t stop at gaming. I got him into Doctor Who; he got me into Hell’s Kitchen. I got him (kinda) into Anime; he got me (kinda) into sports.
We never do things JUST because the other one does. He goes with me to conventions because he doesn’t want me to be alone, but if he didn’t enjoy them he would easily ask a mutual friend who also has interest to go with me instead. (He usually pays said mutual friend’s entrance fee to take me to haunted houses during Halloween because he just doesn’t feel the enjoyment that I do). We have separate things, but we enjoy so much together.
I introduced him to League of Legends and he has blown past me. He helps me with my characters, their builds and understanding what abilities to use when, because that is personally not something I’m awesome at. We love playing together, but we can play apart. We love playing Borderlands on Xbox Live. He has beaten it without me more times than I have beaten it at all. He introduced me to World Of Warcraft. Not only did I pass him in a few things, I became a Guild Leader of the guild of which we are still members to this day. We both love playing tabletop games. He is better at running them than I am, however, we have play with and without each other.
I am not always his healer; he is not always my tank. He doesn’t always lead me; I don’t always support him.
Now, let’s take a few other couples into consideration in regards to this, because I know plenty.
Couple Anime (because they are my adorable friends that introduced me into Anime and Conventions): Both play Video Games, she tends to play more handheld games and they both have differing tastes in Board Games. She loves to cosplay and he compliments her so well. They are two of my best friends. They don’t do everything together. They each have separate hobbies and loves that the other one respects. They cheer each other on, support each other and help even when it’s needed. They are another perfect example of having their own things; trying anything their partner is into, but respecting their decisions. They both are in one of my gaming groups. They have independent characters with interesting backstories. She doesn’t play for him and vice versa.
Now Couple Blue (if you don’t know, I can’t explain): The wife is in my Friday gaming group and the husband is in my Sunday gaming group. I adore them both. I’ve known him for EVER and she has shown up at some pretty tough times for me. I love them both. Both are into video games (though, him more than her). Both are into D&D (though, he is more experienced than her). Both are true geeks. She is an amazingly lady who is playing a healer in our newbie campaign for D&D. He, I’ve been gaming with for a near 20 years, has Alticistus (for those of you who don’t know, Alticistus is the inability to stick with one main character and loves to jump around in gaming, games, characters, etc. So, it’s like the ADD of the gaming community). Again, they both will try new games, check out new fandoms, etc. because of the bond they share, but both are more than capable of saying, “Ya know, this isn’t for me.” I adore them both; I adore their separate ideas. I adore the fact that they are in two separate gaming groups. It shows a lot of, ‘I love this in my own independence and am glad we can enjoy this together.’
I know several gaming couples, but I hope you get the point.
A gaming couple is very simply this: two people who game (tabletop, video games, card games) that were lucky enough to find each other. They, like so many geeky people, found each other.
I play a tank, a healer, a spellcaster, a melee expert. My first love was melee dps; my second love was healing. I’m not good at healing because I’m a girl; I’m good at healing because I remember I can’t run in and smash people in the head like the impulsive idiot I am. My husband actually started as a healer. He also plays a tank. He’s not a great tank because he’s a man; he’s a great tank to ME because he knows ME well enough to tell me when to get my impulsive ass back and what I should be doing.
I don’t want anyone to ever look at a gaming couple and have a preconceived notion other than the fact that they found each other. Women are NOT instinctively healers. Trust me, I’d rather kick your ass then help you. He is not instinctively a tank. He’d rather mind control you and make you jump off a cliff or drop firebombs on your ass.
Basically, never judge a person based on their sex, race, religion, etc. Never judge a couple based on anything.
I know couples who fight, love, game, argue, work, experience.
I don’t know any couple, any person who fits into any one category.
In the end, we are people with our own save files.
I also want to give some epic thanks to Vanri the Rogue for being the best editor a psychopath could ask for